I was at an outdoor gathering in Puebla, and the people from MeetUp Madrid were there. I approached timidly and greeted Govi, who looked at me in surprise. “Mark! Where have you been?” she asked.

I explained to Govi that I hadn’t said goodbye to them because it was too painful for me, so I had just disappeared before coming to Mexico. Govi was really angry and said, “No, friends don’t do that. We were really worried about you, we even thought you had died. In fact, you are dead to us.” Behind Govi, I could see V. and Ángel glancing at me indifferently, as if Govi were talking to a stranger. I felt that my excuse for not saying goodbye had backfired, that I didn’t actually know why I had left without saying anything, that I just wanted to be with my friends like before, but I had ruined everything.

From My 45th birthday (2025-02-19).